Red and Yellow Kiss and Stuff Happens
by ToonYoungster
Summary: They had absolutely nothing better to do than discuss their love life. Clichés galore.


**notes **- To anybody whose fanfics resemble the ideas contained in this story...please come up with better ideas.

* * *

~ **Red and Yellow Kiss and Stuff Happens ~**

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'd rather watch Super Serious Gal run lab reports."

Gold threw his body all over Blue's nice, clean sofa. The hostess felt her forehead throb.

"No, you're not," she denied through a forced, toothy grin. "You're having fun, just like the rest of us."

Platinum coughed. "I'm not having a particularly exciting time, Blue."

The teacup in Blue's grip nearly cracked. In retrospect, it seemed liked a good idea at the time. Gather the Dex Holders together for the afternoon, eat some snacks and catch up, just like the good old days. Never mind that everyone was well into their twenties (Blue herself pushing thirty) and had lives to attend to. The fact that her pantry was reduced to teabags and Ritz crackers wasn't a problem. And it certainly didn't matter that over half of her guests couldn't even be bothered to _show up. _They could still have fun, right?

Sometimes, Blue ended up believing her own lies.

"So, anyway..." The hostess vigorously stirred her tea, attempting to stimulate conversation. "Why couldn't Crystal make it again?"

Silver, sitting quietly beside her, answered the question. "She had to work."

"Which is bogus, if you ask me." Gold snatched himself a cracker and popped it in his mouth, crumbs flying out as he complained. "All Super Serious Gal ever does is work nowadays, like taking a day off is some kind of crime or something."

Ruby flicked some spittle off his face, disgusted. "Well, it certainly can't be easy when you're the Professor's advocate."

"That reminds me," Platinum said, turning to the coordinator. "Where's Sapphire?"

"Sinnoh," he answered, bringing a cup of Earl Grey to his face. "She's presenting a research paper detailing the long-term effects berries have on pokémon physiology. "

"And Emerald?"

Ruby scratched his head in embarrassment. "I...sorta forgot to tell him."

"Again?" Blue declared incredulously. "For goodness sake, Ruby -"

"Yes, yes, I know," he hastily replied. "I'll try to remember next time, I promise."

"It's a shame," Platinum mused, taking a bite of her cracker. "Emerald is never around for these get-togethers, is he?"

Gold, in a desperate attempt to curb his boredom, suddenly leaned forward, his eyes directed toward the young heiress. "So Rich Gal, where are your boyfriends?" he asked, trying to rile her up.

She blinked. "Diamond and Pearl? They have a show scheduled in Unova."

"Oh." Somehow he found this answer to be very disappointing.

Blue placed her teacup down and rested her elbows on knees, her hands cupping the cheeks on her face in despair. It was as if the whole world had conspired to ruin all of her plans today. By some highly convenient coincidence, Green had a gym evaluation today (or so he said). Black was tied up with his duties as pokémon champion. Red and Yellow-

Her eyes perked up a tad. "Say, where's Red and Yellow?"

"Don't you remember, sis?" responded Silver. "Red said he had to take care of some important business with her."

"Oh, yeah." she recalled.

"Have they kissed yet?"

Everybody turned to the voice that had asked the rather blunt question. That voice as it turned out, belonged to White, who for some reason, had chosen up until now to remain silent.

"I mean, I've never seen them do it," she clarified, a little unsettled by their staring. "They have, haven't they?"

The room exploded into riotous laughter. The tip of Silver's lip curled upward.

"Are you kidding?" Blue sniggered, wiping a tear from her face. "They've never even been on a date before!"

A soft blush arose from White's face. To be honest, she hadn't really been keeping up on the latest news of her fellow Dex Holders, but she knew enough to know that Red and Yellow clearly had the hots for each other.

"Hold on." A scary thought entered White's unassuming mind. "They _do _like each other, right?"

"Oh, sure," the hostess dismissed the question with a wave of her teaspoon. "They just don't realize it yet."

White couldn't help but raise a skeptical eyebrow. "So when do you think they'll catch on?"

As she asked this, she noticed that Blue's signature grin had resurfaced.

"Well, Red's a gentleman, so probably when Yellow needs him the most..."

…

_The rain was pouring down heavily. Most of the students had already left, back when it was only a drizzle. That only one left was sweet, little Yellow, who stood motionless by the school's entrance. She didn't have an umbrella, so unless she wanted people to see her chest exposed under her soaked uniform, there was _no way _she was going out in the rain. _

"_Oh, dear," Yellow sighed. "How will I ever make it home now?" _

_Suddenly, a tall fellow with messy, yet stylish black hair stood next to her._

"_If you want, I can walk with you." The man popped open an umbrella and raised it over their heads._

_Yellow knew exactly who he was. It was Red. _The _Red. Next to Green, he was the most handsome boy she'd ever seen. He was smart, athletic, kind, and was class president to boot. Every girl in the school wanted him. _

"_Oh!" Yellow blushed, surprised that Red was actually talking to her. "T-that's okay, I can wait!" _

"_Really, it's no problem." Red flashed her a smile that just made her heart melt. _

_The walk home went by without much trouble. At one point, a flash of lightning had scared poor Yellow, and she huddled next to Red for comfort. Red held her close, promising to never let anything happen to her. _

_Eventually, they made it back to her house. It was a nice place, small and cute just like Yellow. Red got the door for her, as a true gentleman (unlike Green) should. _

"_Thanks for walking me home, Red." Yellow shuffled her feet, embarrassed. "You didn't have to. I mean, there are other girls much prettier than me that are worth your time." _

"_Nonsense," Red said without a fuss. "You're the prettiest girl I've ever met."_

_Yellow's face turned bright red (lol a pun). She was just about to head inside, when all of sudden, Red put a hand on her shoulder. The two then gazed into each other's eyes and without warning, they pressed their lips together. It was totally unexpected, but they didn't care. They sunk deeper and deeper into the kiss, neither of them wanting it to end. _

_After two minutes, they managed to pull back, hearts floating around them. _

_Red cleared his throat. "So, uh, I'll see you in class tomorrow." _

"_Yeah, you too." Yellow answered, her eyes shimmering in admiration. _

_With a final look, Red turned around and headed off. Yellow watched as the man of her dreams left her porch, her hand held tightly against her heart. She didn't know if it was fate, or just an unperceived turn of events. All she knew was that she loved Red, and nothing else mattered. _

…

The hostess sighed in delight as the wonderful thought ran through her mind. She was so entranced, in fact, that she almost didn't notice the five stares that seemed to be questioning her sanity.

"What?" Blue asked, genuinely confused.

Gold made no effort to hide his disgust. "That's bull," he said, swiping another cracker.

"No, it's not!" she retorted. "That sort of thing happens all the time."

"Maybe in really bad anime," muttered White. As a fairly successful TV producer, she found the older girl's statement to be very unfounded.

"It's true! Tell her she's wrong, Silver!" Blue turned to her surrogate brother, who flinched at the mention of his name.

"W-why me?" he asked, looking like a deerling in headlights.

"What are you talking about?" The Kanto woman rolled her eyes impatiently. "Don't you remember when Lyra walked you to the Magnet Train last week? She even let you keep her umbrella!"

To no one's surprise, Gold nearly choked on his cracker from laughing too hard. If it weren't for all the witnesses, Silver would have stabbed him with a stirring rod.

"Um, Blue," Platinum piped up. "If memory serves, Red and Yellow have been exempt from getting a high school education, so consequently, that sort of scenario is impossible."

Blue folded her arms and pouted her lips, a move she perfected as a ten-year-old. "You guys suck, you know that?"

"You just gotta be more realistic, senior." Gold told her, recovering from his laughing fit.

The hostess glared at him. There was _no way_ she could live down being corrected by Gold.

"How so?" she asked dubiously.

A grin suddenly arose on the Breeder's face that was not unlike the one Blue had a moment ago.

"Well, Red is a man of action," he began, speaking as though he were instructing a pack of baby pokémon. "So there's no way in hell he'd kiss senior Yellow in such a lovey-dovey way. He'd probably do it in the most heroic way possible..."

…

_It was a perfect day at the beach. The sun was shining, the wingull were chirping, and best of all, the girls were in full bloom. There were bikini babes all around just waiting to be asked out by Gold, a.k.a. Arceus's gift to women. Yup, it couldn't get any better than this. _

_Anyway, most of the girls were just chilling by the shore. Crystal was tanning, showing off those sexy legs of hers. Platinum was putting lotion on her back in the hottest way possible. Blue and White were currently arguing over who got to touch Gold's rock hard abs. Sapphire went skinny-dipping. _

_The other Dex Holders...they just stood around minding their own business. _

_Meanwhile, Yellow spent the afternoon swimming in the lake. She was having a lot of fun, and despite being flatter than a stunfisk, she was really working that bikini of hers. A couple of guys even tried to hit on her, but backed off when they realized Red was there to kick their asses. It truly was a perfect day at the beach. _

_Then suddenly..._

"_HELP!"_

_The Dex Holders gathered at the shoreline having heard a young woman's cry of despair. When they looked out into the lake, everybody gasped at what was an absolutely horrifying sight. _

_Yellow was being dragged down under by a sharpedo!_

"_HELP ME, HELP ME!" _

"_Somebody do something!" Blue sobbed, latching on to Gold's body for comfort. _

"_Hang on, Yellow!" Red announced, puffing his chest out like a superhero. "I'll save you!"_

_With rocket-like speed, Red dashed out into the water and swam over to his blonde-haired damsel-in-distress. The sharpedo bared its fangs and attempted to make Red his afternoon snack. However, Red wasn't having any of that, and punched the sharpedo's face in with his bare fist. The sharpedo squealed and ran away like a coward. After scooping up an unconscious Yellow in his arms, Red swam them both back to shore. _

_Everyone moved back as Red placed Yellow on the sand and proceeded to push on her breasts. _

"_C'mon, Yellow, please wake up!" Red begged and began mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. _

_Just when all hope was lost...BAM! Yellow eyes popped open. The entire beach broke out in cheers. He did it! Red had saved Yellow's life...again!_

"_Oh, Red!" Yellow sighed, staring up at her savior. "You saved my life...again!"_

"_Of course I did," he replied, all manly and such. "I love you, Yellow."_

"_I love you, too!" Yellow threw her arms around Red's body and planted a fat, wet one on the lips._

_Red kissed her back, cupping her face with his hands. The two lovebirds moaned in delight, as their kiss escalated into an all-out make-out session. Red placed his tongue inside Yellow's mouth, and started to unhook Yellow's bikini top. At the same time, Yellow placed her hand inside Red's swimtr-"_

…

"Hey, quit it!"

Gold quickly took shelter behind Ruby's person, though this did nothing to discourage Blue and White's onslaught of Ritz crackers and verbal protests.

"How dare you defile Yellow's innocence like that!"

"And on a public beach? What were you thinking, Gold?"

The Breeder nervously poked his head out. "It was the most romantic thing I could think of."

"_Romantic?_" Blue scoffed. "That was the most perverted thing I ever heard!"

"It wasn't that bad!" Gold looked to Platinum, noticing that heiress seemed to be deep in thought. "What'd you think, Rich Gal?"

"When performing mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, one must push against the victim's naval, not the chestal area."

Gold blinked a few times before realizing his junior was correcting him.

"Well, y'know...details, details."

"Also, why didn't Red use his pokémon to help? Surely his poliwrath could have saved Yellow with relative ease."

"Er...he left his pokéballs in his other swim trunks?"

"Sharpedos inhabit oceans. Not lakes."

Gold raised a finger as if to retort, but after a moment's thought, slowly brought it down, utterly defeated. He swerved back to his end of the couch where he proceeded to drown his pride in a sea of salted crackers.

"Next time all you're getting is a single-piece." Gold muttered under his breath.

Ruby took this time to wipe away the remains of the ladies' attack off his shirt.

"Ignoring the fantasies you apparently have involving my wife, " he began with resentment. "the problem is that you focused too much on the action instead of the romance. Your story was distinctly lacking in passion, Gold."

"You think you can do any better, Fashionable Lad?"

Gold instantly regretted asking when he saw the twinkle in Ruby's eye.

"Indeed I do..."

…

_The reception went off without a hitch. The picture taking ended surprisingly fast, though the wife had opted to kick her shoes off as they were pinching her feet. After the ceremonial cutting of the wedding cake (half red velvet, half oran as per request of the newlyweds), all of the guests headed off toward the grand ballroom. _

"_Alright, folks," announced the DJ. "We're gonna slow things down a bit, so now's the time to grab that special someone!" _

_The music shifted into a slow waltz, a signal which many of the female Dex Holders took as a call to action. With much prodding and pushing, Blue and White managed to drag Green and Black onto the dance floor. Crystal, who insisted that she couldn't dance, had to be unceremoniously lifted by Gold. There was no fuss with Platinum, who made quite the show by simultaneously leading the steps for both Pearl and Diamond. Even Emerald, having initially gone stag, was not about to be outdone and forced a protesting Silver to dance with him. _

_In the far corner of the room sat Yellow, fidgeting in her chair and glancing anxiously across the room. She was never the social butterfree, and the sudden romantic atmosphere only made her feel more excluded. She looked down at the hands on her lap and sighed, conflicted with the desire to either join in on the fun, or run as far as her Ruby-tailored, bridesmaid dress would allow her._

"_Hey, Yellow, you up for a dance?"_

_The blonde brought her eyes up. Standing before her was Red, the pride of Kanto and the only man who could successfully ease Yellow's nerves with a perfectly bright smile. She couldn't help but notice that he looked rather handsome in his tuxedo, even with a crooked tie. It finally processed in her mind what Red had asked, and her cheeks flushed a hot pink. _

'_I'd rather, I mean, I-I don't, uh, can't...dance." she sputtered, averting her gaze. _

_Red was unperturbed. "Neither can I, but that's not stopping Crystal and Gold."_

_He held his hand out to her, and Yellow could have sworn her heart would explode like a voltorb. She lightly placed her dainty fingers in his palm, a tingle of emotions racing through her skin as she made contact. Before she knew it, Red had lifted her onto her feet, and the man had to hold her up when she nearly tripped over her ankle straps._

_The two slowly made their way to the dance floor, Yellow in particular struggling not to bump into the other patrons. Once they found a spot with enough leg room, Red placed a hand on Yellow's back, and softly gripped her right hand with his left. The blonde face's resembled that of a tamato berry. _

"_Easy now," Red whispered into her ear, his voice permeating with confidence. "Just let me lead you, okay?"_

_Yellow swallowed her tongue. "O-okay." _

_At that moment, the waltz had reached its high point, and Yellow's spiky-haired partner wasted no time in leading the steps. Their footing was stiff and unnatural, Red's graceful strides looking rather ridiculous with Yellow's choppy follow-throughs. It took nearly forty seconds until Red's steps were steady with his partner's, and eventually the two Dex Holders were in perfect sync. _

"_You've a great dancer, Yellow." Red said in that oh so charming voice of his. _

_His partner shuffled around before answering, her eyes glued to her feet. "Oh, uh, I wouldn't say that." _

_Red smirked as he closed the gap between their bodies, an action that startled his partner enough to finally look up at him._

"_R-Red?"_

_The Fighter had an unusual expression on his face. At first glance, it seemed to be a look of affection he was widely known for, but upon closer inspection, there was a layer of hopeful, almost sensual desire that Yellow had never seen before. _

"_Yellow," Red began, his hot breath overwhelming all of Yellow's senses. "I don't ever want to let you go." _

_The voltorb used self-destruct._

"_I...I don't ever want you too." Yellow rested her head upon Red's chest and closed her eyes. His scent sent her mind into euphoria, and by that time they had forgotten all about dancing. _

_Red tightened his arms around her delicate waist, cradling her like that of a young child. _

"_Maybe we don't have to." _

_Those words sparked a sensation in Yellow's heart that melted away what ever resistance she had left. She released her face from Red's body in a smooth, almost hypnotic movement. The look of yearning in Yellow's glimmering eyes was all Red needed to take his cue. A hand gently found itself under the blonde's chin, raising it up until their noses were mere millimeters away from touching. No one was sure who made the next move. All they knew was that nothing could ever tear them apart. _

...

Ruby beamed at his own eloquence, which was a stark contrast to the less-than-encouraging reactions of his peers.

"W-what? Is it over?" Gold shot up from his spot, pretending to have nodded off about halfway through the tale.

"I thought it was simply beautiful, Ruby..." The hostess commented with an unassuming smirk.

"Thank you, Blue."

"...especially since you pretty much ripped it off from your wedding last year."

The coordinator gave a halfhearted chuckle and scratched the back of his head. "Was it really that obvious?".

"Definitely," White answered, bemused. "The only thing that was different was Red and Yellow's dance, which if I remember correctly, went _nothing_ like that."

"She is correct," Platinum added, stirring her tea as she explained. "If memory serves, neither Red or Yellow are particularly good dancers, and they quit as soon as they knocked over the punch bowl."

"And all they talked about were the best places to buy discount super potions," Blue sighed in disappointment, remembering what Yellow had told her that night when the older woman had pestered her for what she had hoped were scandalous details.

Ruby crossed his arms, conceding to their logic. "Fair enough, I suppose I did romanticize those memories a tad."

"That, and it was too damn long!" Gold pulled himself off the couch and straightened his back. "At least my idea wasn't a total snore-fest."

The coordinator huffed. "You just don't understand, Gold. It takes time to develop that sort of passionate romance."

"_Puh-leaze!_ Silver here could come up with something better in not even _half _the time you took!"

"Huh?"

And just like that, all eyes were on the lone redhead.

…

_Once upon a time, Blue decided to throw a party._

"_Hey, let's play Truth or Dare!" she said._

_Red went first. _

"_Truth or dare?" Blue asked._

"_Dare!" said Red._

"_I dare you to kiss Yellow on the lips!"_

_Everyone oohed and ahhed and stuff. Red got up and kissed Yellow on the lips._

_It was the best damn kiss they ever had._

_The end. _

_..._

Utter silence.

"Great job, Silver!" Gold clapped the man on the shoulder, flashing a spiteful look in Ruby's direction. "Now _that's_ how you do romance."

"Yeah..." White cleared her throat, trying to come up with a sufficient compliment. "It was certainly...brief."

The red-haired man turned away, his bangs covering the flustered look on his face.

Hoping to spare her brother any further embarrassment, Blue suddenly slammed her hand on the table. "Okay, who's next?"

"What, were we taking turns or something?" Gold inquired.

"Of course," she replied with a wink. "We made it this far, so we might as well finish up."

"How about you, miss Platinum?" Ruby took a glance at the Sinnoh lady, who appeared to be spacing out. "You must have read a few romantic novels before, so surely you have an idea on how Red and Yellow will kiss?"

"It's true that I've spent many a good hour in the genre." The lady paused as if to gather her thoughts. "So I believe I have a firm grasp on how a first kiss may be exchanged between them."

The rest of the room leaned forward, listening with great interest as the heiress took a long sip of her tea.

"A kiss is the product of relieving tension, sexual or otherwise, so it is apparent to me that a scenario of hope and despair would be the ideal setting…"

…

_It was early evening, approximately 7:00 PM, the summer sun leaving just enough light to shine a sliver of hope on an otherwise tragic situation. The hospital room was empty, the staff having left moments ago. Stretched across the bed was a cold, lifeless Yellow, known as 'The Healer' in the circle of esteemed Dex Holders. The leader of the Dex Holders, Red, had just stepped inside. _

"_I'm here, Yellow."_

_Red fell down on his knees, holding on to Yellow's unconscious hand. The woman showed no visible indication that she felt his presence. _

"_I'm sorry, Yellow," he cried, despite the fact that she could not hear him. "It should have been me!"_

_A few hours ago, Yellow was the victim of what was truly a horrifying accident. During her daily walk toward Viridian City, a speeding car going twenty miles above the speed limit had crashed into her. The results were grim: a collection of broken ribs, severe internal bleeding, penetration of her left lung, and severe trauma to the frontal lobe that left her in a vegetative state. Death was the immediate prognosis._

_Red cried some more, placing a bouquet of appropriately themed chrysanthemums on the girl's chest. He stood up and stared at his beloved, the monotonous beeping of the heart rate monitor adding just enough ambiance to Red's grief. _

"_Oh, Yellow," he said, holding the bars of the hospital bed to keep his balance. "If only I could see you smile again. Then I would tell you that I love you."_

_At that moment, the heart rate monitor flat-lined._

"_NO!" he yelled. His infamous ability to handle hopeless situations had vanished, now replaced with shock and panic. "Please, no! I can't lose you now!"_

_He harshly grasped Yellow's pale shoulders in clear violation of hospital policy. When she obviously did not respond to his words, he collapsed over her body, defeated._

"_I'm so sorry!" _

_His tears fell onto her body, mostly around the area surrounding her now cold, lifeless face. He wiped them away with his finger, and cupped her head in his hands. Seeing as he had never done so before, Red kissed her lips. _

_And then, in a completely unexpected turn of events, the heart rate monitor beeped. _

_Red gasped, watching as Yellow's skin slowly regained its natural color. Her chest marginally moved up and down, and finally, her eyes opened. It should have been impossible though. Her injuries would have prevented her from breathing without an oxygen tank, and the blood loss was simply too great. Not to mention the irreversible head trauma._

_Indeed, it was a miracle at work._

"_Red, is that you?" Yellow asked._

"_It is," he said. The boy wrapped himself over Yellow's body, his falling tears now being that of joy instead of anguish. "Oh, Yellow, I love you!"_

"_I love you, too." she replied back._

_And they all lived happily ever after._

…

The young heiress carefully scanned the expressions of her fellow Dex holders. Collectively, what she saw could be defined as either 'petrified', 'repulsed', or 'mind-blown'.

"I'm sorry, was my level of angst not sufficient?"

Blue throw her hand out in swift objection. "No, no, it was definitely angsty enough! Right, guys?" Her juniors all nodded in completely unsynchronized agreement.

"Thank you all," The Sinnoh woman perked up. "I was inspired by a film I saw with Diamond and Pearl last week. "Seduction Upon Decimation", I believe it's called. The scene where the heroine slices the villain's genitals with her scyther was particularly gruesome."

"Lovely." Ruby, who had noticeably scooted a few inches away from the girl, uneasily gulped down another cup of his tea.

Gold cleared his throat, eager to break the tension. "Alright, Boss Girl. Finish us off with a bang!"

"Wha...oh, right!" The words 'Boss Girl' brought her out of the trance that Platinum's story captured her in. Admittedly, White was still not used to the nickname Gold had bestowed upon her, as it was scarily similar to how Black used to address her back when their relationship was just that of a president and her employee. Oh, how times have changed since then.

"To be honest, it's kinda hard to imagine Red or Yellow being romantic in well, _anything_, let alone a first kiss," White stroked her chin, feeling her creative mojo pumping through her veins. "Though I think that, in a way, they've reached a level of intimacy that goes beyond romantic desire. A level that makes a kiss that much more meaningful…"

...

_"It's alright, Red. You don't have to go through so much trouble."_

_"Just one more try!" The Battler insisted, more so to ease his own frustration than that of his date._

_Date._

_It was not the first time they had gone on so-called 'dates' together. Sure, any time Red stopped by to take a break from training was special enough to call it a 'date', and he more than once had to clear up misunderstandings that arose when he was on a 'date' with one of the other female Dex Holders. So when Red had asked Yellow to accompany him to the Viridian City Festival, she thought nothing of it. To her, it was just another biannual get together with the man she loved._

_At least, that's what she thought at first._

_As she watched her 'date' swing his arm back for another throw, Yellow couldn't help but notice how odd Red had been acting today. He had put in the extra effort to ensure that she was happy, purchasing all of her favorite treats before she would even ask, or making a huge fuss when a local male fan attempted to flirt with her. It was charming, but lacking in the confidence she was so used to seeing from him._

_So he tossed the ring with all his might, only to miss entirely. _

"_You wanna go another round, Mr. Champion?" prompted the shady-looking carnie. _

_Yellow quickly stepped in when she saw Red pull out his wallet. "Red, it's okay. I didn't really want that stuffed clefairy anyway." _

_The Healer's earnest face was enough to pull Red aside, much to the carnie's disappointment. _

"_Okay, so what do you wanna do now?" Red asked for the eighth time that day. "We can try goldeen scooping, or maybe get our fortunes told. There's also the haunted house over by the-"_

"_Um, actually," Yellow interrupted, glancing around. "I'd really just like to get some ice cream and relax for a while."_

_Red could do nothing but comply to her request. Luckily, the ice cream vendor was pretty easy to find, and they each got themselves a single scoop of their favorite flavor: Rocky Road for Red and vanilla for Yellow (she insisted she pay this time). After walking around for a bit, they managed to find an empty bench for them to enjoy their frozen confections. _

"_So...are you having fun?" Red asked, taking a bite._

"_Hmm? Oh, of course I am!" The blonde woman looked away before adding, "It's just that…"_

_The Battler panicked. _

"_I-It's just what? I didn't get you the wrong flavor, did I? Or maybe...sprinkles! You like sprinkles, don't you? Here, let me fix that!"_

_He made a grab for her cone, but Yellow moved her arm away. "It's fine, Red!" she asserted in a voice that carried a hint of frustration. "You don't have to!"_

_But Red was resolute, and the two struggled for control over the dessert. It was not until Yellow lost her balance and the delicious treat splattered all over her tunic did he finally back off. _

"_Oh man! Sorry! Here let me get a..." Red glanced around, inwardly cursing himself when he realized he had forgotten to pick up napkins._

"_It's alright," The blonde was already on her feet. "I'm just gonna go clean up in the ladies' room."_

_The nearest restroom, however, was a Port-a-Potty. Not that Yellow minded much. Thankfully, her tunic wasn't especially absorbent, and she managed to clear off any residue ice cream, though the stain it left was still very much visible. She returned to the bench to find Red hunched over, his hands resting heavily on his knees. His ice cream was gone._

"_Something wrong, Red?" Anxiety was written all over his face._

"_I'm sorry." he said, skipping the question entirely. "I know I've been acting pretty weird lately."_

"_Oh, I've noticed". _

_Red chuckled. Yellow had grown up to speak her mind more often (a habit she probably picked up from Green), even under that veil of shyness to her. He remembered when they were children and he saved a scared, little girl from a dratini attack because he was young, risky, and all that mattered was being brave. He wondered at what point in their relationship that the tables were turned._

"_Can I ask you something?" he continued._

"_Of course." _

"_Why do you like me?"_

_Blink. Blink._

"_I'm sorry?"_

"_I mean, you don't like pokémon battles, and well, that's pretty much all I am." He took this moment to look her in the eye. "How do you not hate me?" _

_Yellow didn't skip a beat. "I don't like pokémon getting hurt, Red. And that's not what pokémon battles are about. When you battle, you do it to become stronger, to grow closer with your pokémon. The injuries you share with them are a sign of unity, not malice."_

_Her hand found its way on top of Red's. "That's why I could never hate you."_

_The expression on Red's face softened, and he suddenly felt foolish for ever doubting her. _

"_Although," She put a finger on her lips and smirked. "You battle so much, you should start thinking about buying your own pokémon center."_

_They shared a good laugh. Over the years, Yellow had also gotten more comfortable with teasing (a habit she probably picked up from Blue). Red only saw her every six months, and every time he came back, Yellow would always surprise him with the little ways she had grown. Maybe it was time he grew up as well. _

"_Thanks." he leaned back, easing the tension in his spine. "I think I'm ready to ask you to marry me now."_

_Yellow giggled._

_Whoa. What?_

_She froze. _

_A multitude of emotions surged through Yellow's mind. Confusion. Shock. Hope. All of which decided to show up in the form of a heavy blush. Suddenly, the eight-year-old girl from the Viridian Forest made a comeback._

"_Was that too sudden?" Red asked in that charmingly, ignorant voice of his. "I was hoping to ease into that, but you know." His eyes lit up belatedly. "Oh, that's right!" _

_He started rummaging through his shirt pocket, and Yellow felt her stomach doing back flips._

_The young man stood up from his seat and positioned himself in front of the speechless blonde. He slowly got down on one knee, and held up the small, black box in both his hands, as Green had instructed him to. So far so good. _

"_So, uh, yeah." Red cleared his throat, the words escaping him completely even though he had practiced his proposal countless times beforehand. "I really like you, Yellow, like, really, really like you. I mean, not that I didn't before, but it's different now, like…I love you. You know, like with Pika and Chuchu? It's like that, and- "_

_Okay, this was not working._

_Red sighed and stared at his feet. He screwed up. How could he have screwed this up? He was supposed to be strong and brave and oh god was this bad. Yellow was definitely gonna reject him now, and there was nothing he could do about it. It was like losing a battle and getting frozen in ice all over again. _

"_Um, Red?"_

_His head shot up. "Yeah?"_

"_I think you're supposed to open it first."_

_He stared blankly at his hands._

_No ring. _

_Red fumbled with the box, and nearly tore off the lid trying to open it. He heard Yellow stifle a giggle at his expense and the Battler couldn't help but let a smile escape him. Now he remembered why he decided to go through with this._

"_Yellow…" he said, ready to end the battle. "Will you live together with me?" _

_The next few seconds happened faster than Red could process. He wrists were suddenly clasped by a pair of petite hands, and he was graciously lifted up to his feet. His crimson eyes followed the movements of Yellow's mouth, and he swore he heard what he thought sounded like a -" _

"_Yes."_

_Red found himself in a warm, loving embrace and at that point he realized he had absolutely no idea what he was supposed to do next. He figured he should return the hug however and he did so rather awkwardly, as the box was still in his hands. The distinct sound of clapping and cheering went by completely unnoticed. _

_He wasn't sure who broke the hug first. Maybe it was him, maybe it was Yellow, or maybe they both did. Next thing Red knew, he was taking the pristine, white diamond (picked out by Crystal, no less) out of his palm and placing it on Yellow's ring finger. It was a gesture that was completely alien to the Battler, yet he somehow knew just what to do. Maybe love was just instinctive like that. _

_And so it was with all instinct that Red placed his lips onto Yellow's._

_She was initially too stunned to react, but the heat of his breath eased the embarrassed child within her, and the young woman quickly reciprocated. It was nothing like she had dreamed about. No privacy. No rush of emotions. No tip-toeing. Nothing but absolute certainty. _

_When the two finally broke apart, they each had a tint of scarlet on their faces along with an amused smile. The same unspoken thought was exchanged between them._

_That was their first kiss._

_Right after Red proposed. _

_Blue was gonna have a field day with this one._

…

The first thing White heard was a burst of loud, unrestrained snoring.

Her first instinct was to tell Gold off for pretending to have fallen asleep again, but upon closer inspection, she realized the Breeder had actually dozed off this time. This only served to irritate her even more, so she turned to her seniors for comfort.

"Okay, so besides Gold," White began, her voice building with the confidence of any well-respected president. "What did you guys think? Pretty good, huh?"

The hostess felt obligated to be the first to answer. "It was...cute, I guess." she said with a shrug.

"Oh, yeah," Ruby added with feigned interest. "Cute is definitely the right word for it."

The Unova woman gripped the handle on her mug.

"Cute?" she repeated, stretching out the word as if it were plagued. "That's it? That's _all _you have to say about it?"

"I'm not saying it was _bad_, or anything," Blue clarified. "It just felt kinda...unrealistic."

White heard the phrase 'DOES NOT COMPUTE' echo in her mind. This must be what it was like to be Black.

"Are you serious?" the woman exclaimed with an empty laugh. "Please tell me you're joking."

"Well, who proposes to someone they haven't seen in _six months_?" Ruby argued, furrowing his brow. "Even for someone like Red, that's pretty ridiculous."

"That's the point!" White waved her mug around, frenzied. "Their love is strong enough to handle a long distance relationship."

"If that's true, then why did Red fail so epically at proposing to her?" Blue challenged. "Shouldn't he be suave and chivalrous like the hero he is?"

"Being romantically clueless is consistent with his character!"

"Okay, I won't argue with you there." The coordinator gulped down the rest of his drink before placing the cup down with renewed vigor. "But then what about Yellow? Being flustered and shy is who she is, yet I didn't hear any of that until the end."

"You're oversimplifying her personality," White explained, raising her voice to account for everyone in the room. "In fact, you _all_ did. Yes, she's shy, but that's only a part of who Yellow is. She's also playful, empathetic, and firm in her beliefs. You guys' made her out to be this timid, innocent girl who can't take care of herself."

"She's got a point."

All eyes gravitated toward Silver, and the red-haired man forcibly coughed.

"But that's just how romance works, Silver," The hostess told him. "I mean, who wants to listen to a love story where the girl is more mature than the guy?"

"Lots of people would!" White was now on her feet, her hair frizzled. "The best love stories are the ones where the man struggles with their feelings. It's all about INSECURITY!"

"Meh," Blue dismissed. "I'll stick to shojo anime."

The Unova woman was at a lost. With no where else to turn, she looked to the only other female, her saving grace, with pleading eyes and said, "Platinum, you must understand, right? It's completely sensible for Red and Yellow to share their first kiss like that, right?"

Platinum looked up from her Pokétch.

"I'm sorry, did you say something?"

White felt her mind split.

She stood eerily silent, gazing blankly into space. After a couple seconds, she circled backward and robotically grabbed her handbag from the couch. With light footsteps, White sauntered out of the living room and exited through the front door without a word. The other Dex Holders had no idea what to make of this.

Platinum broke the silence. "May I ask you all something?"

"Sure." Ruby answered.

"When a woman wants to make love with two men, does she usually take turns, or do they simply go all at once?"

Gold rocketed from his slumber. The afternoon was far from over.

* * *

**~ Epilogue ~**

At some point at the end of Route 1, White encountered none other than Red and Yellow, both heading in the opposite direction.

"Oh, hey White!" Red waved to her excitedly. "Sorry we couldn't make it to Blue's party, but we -"

The brunette strolled right past them, not even sparing them a glance.

"Okay then." Red scratched his head, confused.

"Gee, I sure hope she didn't have a fight with Black," Yellow wondered, stroking the glimmering gem on her finger. "They have such good communication."

"I'm sure they'll be fine," he said, wrapping an arm around her assuredly. "Unlike me, Black actually knows what he's doing."

* * *

**more notes **- So even though I'm making fun of fanfiction here, I just wanna say right off the bat that I'm in NO WAY insisting that my writing is perfect. That said, reviews are greatly appreciated, and I'll take constructive criticism over hollow praise any day.


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